Slowly peaking out of the closet

Where I work, it isn't as simple as just going to your supervisor or handing in a leave slip to have time off. Each request nearly has to go through committee. I have to log on to our special site, send in the request for time off which gets sent to my immediate supervisor and if approved, over to the department head and if approved, over to payroll.
Knowing that I'm going to be having monthly appointments, or at least 1 more appointment scheduled on 11/30, all these requests are going to start looking weird. Although I'm trying to schedule my appointments for late in the day, I'll still have to take an hour off.
So, I started struggling with how to explain this to my supervisor to prepare her for all these requests. How much to tell her? Is there something else I can think of to explain all my Dr's appointments? If I do tell her what it is all about, can I be prepared for the "normal" person reaction that IF is no big deal and I'm blowing this "problem" all out of proportion. I thought about this for 2 days.
Today, I was in her office to talk to someone with her over the speakerphone so we had the door closed. After we were finished with the call and before I opened the door, I took a breath and just did it. I truly wasn't expecting the reaction I got.
I explained that I will be having more Dr. appointments and blood work.
"For babies?" she said.
"No" I said. "I haven't been diagnosed yet, but I'm fighting infertility"
There. I said it out loud. ringing in my ears, I think I'm going to faint.
"Oh, wow! What are they going to do for you?" She said with genuine concern and interest and admitted ignorance about this sort of thing.
"Well. I'm not ovulating. My body has shut down so I'm taking progesterone to restart my cycle and clean me out. Hopefully this jump starts my hormones. If not, I'll take some other medicine to make me ovulate."
"Gee, do you actually have a period if you don't ovulate?"
"Sometimes, that's part of the problem."
"Well, that is some really tough stuff. Not only physically, but emotionally. If I see you bawling your eyes out I'll know why and hand you a Kleenex. I'm so sorry you are going through this."
Me = floored
"It's kinda hard to come out of the closet because you never know how anyone will react." I confessed.
"Well, and I'm sure it is hard to talk about there being something wrong. Don't worry, I won't say anything, it's your story to tell."

All I could say is thank you and to let her know that I just needed to explain about the time off.

I feel very fortunate to have had this compassionate reaction from a "normal" person and to know there is some understanding in my corner.

I can only hope all my coming-out admissions go just as smoothly. I still haven't talked to my Mom. Not because I'm afraid of her reaction but because it means giving up yet another dream to surprise her with a pregnancy announcement.

I have a plan!

And it isn't all that surprising.
First, I have a perscription for Provera to take for 10 days and hopefuly restart my cycle. The theory is, I likely have not had a "real" period for a long while. Since I haven't had the normal hormones that come with a cycle, there might be a build up of lining. Also, the Dr is hoping to get me to a regular, predictabe cycle. So, I'm going to take the provera and use OPK's and if no BFP in 30 days then restart. I'll do this for 3 cycles then if no BFP or O I'll start on Clomid for 3 cycles. If no BFP with confirmed O then an HSG to see if there is a blockage or not.
I'm also going in for CD 21 bloodwork to confirm that I don't have a thyroid problem and we have a script for DH to have an SA to rule out any problems there.
Dr. J was great! She was impressed with the knowlege I had and that I made a summery with the length of each cycle and the O day on the cycles that I O'd which made it easier for her to see my history.
As usual, I worried for nothing. Send some good vibes that just the provera step will work out for us.

Today is....

Appointment day!
First the dentist then the OB.
I was such a goober that I got my appointment time wrong for the dentist and arrived an HOUR early. Dumb-dumb.
So, I got into the dentists chair, was preped, the whole bite block and rubber dam thing holding my mouth wide open and exposed to the world and my hygentist disappears. When she did reappear she says, "I'm so sorry, I'm pregnant and it is just the worst!". Really fate! Of course I'm rendered in capable of speaking so all I can think is "o yea, I'm on my way to my first infertility appointment. Thanks for the rub in the face."
So, here I sit in the Ob's office with half my face numb, charts in hand, scared half out of my witts that I won't be taken seriously. All I want is a plan of action to find what is wrong then a plan to fix it! Shouldn't be too much to ask. I'll update this evening when I'm home. TTFN.

Brawl

Mother Nature and I are about to go round.

My temps are hanging pretty low. I mean, 96.54 type low. And My face looks like a teenager's.

I don't mean "WOW I look young" I mean pizza face. And the pimples take forever to go away!

The thing is, when ever my temp plummets, I break out. I don't know why I have never made this correlation before. Duh! I've only been temping for 19 1/2 months!

Talk about kicking me when I'm down.

Mess with my hormones will you!!

Oh, it's on Mother Nature! It's on!

My Return

I can't believe it has been so long since I last posted! I've started many, but never had the chance to finish. It's hard when I don't have the ability to sneak a blog in to the middle of my workday. A bit about my summer:

I got the job that comes with health care other benefits and a raise. But no ability to sneak onto the Internet for personal reasons. One of the downfalls of working for a School District. I can read posts and emails from my Blackberry, but I have problems writing posts.

I got an office mate which kept a super messy desk, talked to herself, and pretty much yelled into the phone

I lost my office mate yesterday (we don't know why but she is no longer working there)

I stopped ovulating. I've had a total of 2 cycles from 7/7 to 10/2. Grrr.

My mother-in-law moved in and her sister also stayed with us for the last month

I made an appointment with the OB so I can get some answers and tests done. I'm coming up on 21 months of TTC. Unfortunately, I called the Dr.'s office on 8/20 and their earliest appointment was on 10/20. I got a call on 9/19 saying they needed to reschedule. All I could say is "I've already waited so long!" I now have an appointment for 10/26. Cross your fingers for some understanding and a Dr. who is willing to get to the bottom of this.

That's about it. Not much has been going on, I think that is why I haven't been posting. I feel so boring.

The past week

Sooo.... last Thursday, I got a call from a staffing agency who saw my resume online and has a client looking for someone with my type of specialized work experience and wanted me to come in to talk about it. Meanwhile, they sent me all the computer testing they wanted me to do and I spent the better part of the evening completing that. Friday, I met with the staffing agency, found out I did beautifully on the tests, filled out a books worth of paper work to be "hired" by the agency and we discussed me and the position she had in mind. Afterwards, Ms. Agency said she would contact her client with my resume and test results and see if they want to meet with me for an interview.
Just after I got home, I got a call from Ms. Agency who said the company (actually state government based) wanted to meet with me on Wednesday at 2:30. So excited. So, I did some research, found out more about this department the position and pay scale.
Yesterday (Wednesday) I went to the company/department, checked in with the receptionist. I was told someone will be right out and to take a seat. While sitting there guess what I'm privileged to hear. Yep you guessed it and I will replay this for you as a short play.

1st lady: (walks up to the receptionist counter and says something indistinguishable (or I just wasn't paying attention))

receptionist: "Oh, how wonderful. How far along are you?"

1st lady: "Oh I don't know, I just found out this morning."

receptionist: "You mean with one of the home tests? Those are pretty reliable."

1st lady: "Yes. I'm surprised, we weren't even trying, but I'm very excited."

I mentally throw my arms in the air, look at the sky and scream at fate "Really! Now! You couldn't have this sperm magnet walk on by with her happy news 5 minutes from now when I'm not sitting here!"

stage lights dim. curtain down.

True story.
Anyway......
Leaving sperm magnet behind, I went and spoke with the manager once she came and got me. She knew of the company I had been working for and was impressed I had been there for 7 years. She also was already talking like I worked there (good sign) and said she needed someone right away and wanted me to come in for 4 hours/day for a week or so and try it out as a temp. I started today.
All went very well. I got to use a real office with a door and a window and a new Mac with a gigantio screen and a big fatty desk (this would be my office if I get the job). I went to lunch with the manager, the director and a few other ladies and got to socialize. At the end of the 4 hours, the manager came in and closed the door (yea there is a door. I spent 7 years in an open cubicle) and wanted to make sure I am applying for the job and that I knew where to do that. I let her know that I already started the process last night. She was quite happy with that. It is quite a process to apply because this department is affiliated with school districts so there is a lot of paperwork, hoops to jump through and red tape. If this works out, I'll be making $8500 more a year (to start) than I was making at my last job.
Better get back to it. Yea! I work again tomorrow. Your good luck vibes and thoughts worked. Keep 'em coming until I'm officially hired.

Back in the US

We got back from Victoria Monday evening and I spent all day yesterday getting caught up, putting myself and my home back together and back in a routine. I wasn't able to update during the trip because my phone was on roaming so I just turned it off.
Here are some pictures...

My Color guard (some of the girls) lined up to get on the parade route. They were not doing the routine when I snapped this pic so their flags are not moving.


The Band....


A human statue of Annie Oakley and Drummer Boy.


Me messing with one of the flags when Drummer Boy called my name and snapped my pic while I turned toward him.


Parade of bands in front of the Parliament building.


Beautiful Victoria



We walked EVERYWHERE! My feet were so sore. But it is well worth it.
We won both parades. I don't know if there were different divisions, I can't find the results, but the band director received the results and I just heard that we won.


In other news...
I've found 4 places so far to apply to. I received one call back/telephone interview, but nothing further. I need to get a suit so I have something to wear to interviews (crossing fingers).

TTC wise, I decided to keep temping so I know what is going on, but I'm not taking my magic elixir of raspberry tea and vitex (gave me an early O and strong temp rise last month). I'm not going to prevent because obviously one or both of us has built in birth control, but I'm not going to do something extra to promote conceiving at this point now that I'm unemployed. I hope this doesn't last to long. I don't think I can handle the emotional strain. Strangely, if I were to conceive, I would qualify for state sponsored care. Kinda messed up don't you think?